Feel Like Giving Up, but You Just Can't Walk Away
by bigtimedreamer
Summary: Carlos is in love with Kendall, but Kendall just wants sex. The story about Carlos and how his bestfriend is slowly breaking him down.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anything.**

**Kenlos, mature themes.**

**Carlos' P.V.**

I was sitting in the room Kendall and I shared as he walked in. Lately Kendall had been feeling as if all I was was someone he could come to when he wanted some. I was sick of it. I loved Kendall and all he was doing was fucking with my feelings, I'm a fragile boy. He walked over to me, leaning down and capturing my lips in a sweet kiss. I loved everything about this boy, I loved little motion he made. But I hated everything about him, I hated every little emotion he made me feel. No words. Just sex. He pushed me down on the bed, kissing me hard enough to leave bruises.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, as much as I wanted Kendall to be my open boyfriend I know it would kill him if anyone found out we had been doing this for a couple of months.

"Carlos, do you really think I would have sex with you if people were here?" Ouch, that hurt.

I nodded and let him continue. He kissed me roughly while puling of my shirt. My hand was tangled in his dirty blonde locks, for as much as he just hurt me I loved this so much. He held my wrists above my head and pressed them roughly against the bed. He was always so rough, but I fucking adored it. He bit and licked on my neck, leaving a purple spot against my tanned skin. I groaned deeply, throbbing for him to touch me, but he never did. I flipped him over so I could take control. I violently peeled off his shirt getting out the anger I had built up for so long. I spread kisses and nibbles down his chest and stomach stopping at his waistline. I looked up at him flirtaciously as he licked his lips and closed his eyes. I slid down his sweatpants and grabbed his boxers with my teeth pulling them down and allowing his beast to be free. It bounced at the freedom, my own twitching within itself. I took him in my hands before pressing my tongue against his tip, twirling it around in my mouth. He thrust into my mouth, moaning signaling he wanted more. I took his length in my mouth and bobbed back and forth, after coming back up I gagged slightly. I pumped him a couple of times before repeating the process.

"Carlos, you dirty fucking slut. I know you can do better than that." He growled before holding my face against him for a moment. I was gagging and moaning around him, he let me free and I pumped him again.

"You fucking whore, lay down." I obeyed.

I laid down on the bed, he ripped down my boxers and held two fingers to my mouth. "Suck on them." He shoved them into my mouth as I sucked on them making them slippery and wet. He removed his fingers and I shut my eyes from the pain and pleasure. He rubbed his finger around my entrance, teasing me making me whine.

"Kendall, please.." I begged.

"Did I tell you you could speak?" He kissed me roughly, while jamming in his fingers. Both at the same time. I moaned into his mouth as he twirled and curled them. I gripped his hair and tugged it gently. "Mm, fuck you're so tight." He said smirking before removing his fingers. He grabbed the bottle of lube in the nightstand and put it on. I reached down and helped him apply it. He leaned over me and propped himself at my entrance, whispering in my ear. "I love you, Carlos." He jammed into me. Without warning. He didn't even give my time to respond to his 'I love you.' He gave me a moment to get adjusted.

"Move." He listened, he pumped in and out. I moaned from the pleasure that sent shivers down my spine. He pounded in and out of me, hitting my sweet spot over and over again.

"¡Dios mío! Más. ¿Por favor, Papi?" He loved it when I called him papi and screamed in Spanish so I would do it, to please my Kendall. He didn't understand me, but once I thrust up trying to get more of him inside of me he knew what I said. He pushed all the way in and held for a moment, before pounding me again. Moaning loudly he reached down and pumped me in rhythm to his deep thrusts. I clenched the bed and screamed, feeling the tightening in my lower abdomen. I shut my eyes and before I knew it I exploded all over Kendalls hand. Seconds later he burst into me. Pulling out slowly, both of us out of breathe lay there for a moment before he moves. All I ever wanted was for Kendall to make love to me then hold me close and cuddle with me after.

"Kendall?" I asked shyly.

"Yeah?" He asked while pulling up his sweats and looking at me.

"What you said, did you mean it?" I asked, looking into his deep emerald green eyes.

"What, that I love you?" He chuckled softly, pulling his shirt over his head. "Of course not, I was just in the heat of them moment." I sat on the bed, biting my lip to hold in the stream of tears i could feel filling my eyes. He flung the door open and yelled from the front door. "Going to hang out with Jo!"

The second I heard that door shut, I let every emotion I had flood out. I curled up into my bed, pulled the covers over my face and cried myself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up a couple of hours later, still laying under my covers an already on the verge of crying. I could smell food and hear Momma Knight yelling at the boys to set the table. I thought back about how it was when Kendall was the sweet boy I fell for. When he would never hurt his sweet innocent Carlos. I remember back to the day that all of this started, the day I had waited 5 ears for, and the day that would ruin me forever.

_Kendall and I were in the apartment alone for 2 days. Logan and James went to some concert about 3 hours away and were staying the weekend, and Katie and Momma Knight were back home for a couple days. We watched Friends With Benefits the first night as we started to talk about how much we wanted and needed sex._

_"Damn, I miss fucking." Kendall said as he looked over at me, waiting for a response._

_"Yeah, I guess." I said shyly as a chuckled nervously._

_"Wait, you've never had sex, have you?" He smirked and turned his body towards mine, looking at the side of my face._

_I blushed nervously and looked at him. "Yes I have, Kendall." I crossed my arms and looked back at the tv._

_"No, you haven't. It's okay though Carlos, I can help you if you want.." He stood up and sat down on top of me, straddling my waist. He looked into my eyes, gingerly holding my face in his hands, running his thumb over my cheek. Slowly he leans in, my lips and his softly brush over each other. I can feel his hot breath on my lips and I can't take it. I pull him towards me in a lust filled kiss. His tongue glides along my lower lip, begging for entrance. I grant that for him, our tongues dance together fighting for dominance. Soon I grant that for him too. He pulls back for a breath with a giant smirk on his face. _

_"What are you thinking Kendall?" I asked, looking at his face. I know when Kendall has something in mind._

_"We should have casual sex. Like whenever you need a relief come to me, and whenever I need one I come to you. What could go wrong?"_

_"Kendall, is that really such a good idea? I mean someone could get hurt.." I tried not to jump at the chance to fuck Kendall whenever I wanted to. Just to think that Kendall wants to be fuck buddys with me blows my mind._

_"Carlos, come on. No one is going to get hurt. I know you want to." He said biting his lip, grinding down into my hips. He knew this would get to me. He leaned down and nibbled on my ear, occasionally blowing in it which drove me crazy. _

_"Fuck it." I said as I pulled his face to mine, kissing him again._

I heard a knock on the door and I jumped up, wiping my eyes to hide that I was crying.

"Who is it?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"It's Logan. Carlos please let me in." He sounded concerned and sad.

"Fine." I said as I got up and opened the door. I felt a tear stroll down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away, before looking back up to Logan. He was my bestfriend and could tell whenever I was sad. He walked in and followed me to my bed, shutting the door behind him.

"You ready to tell me what's wrong?" He asked looking at me and placing his hand on my shoulder, rubbing my neck and shoulder.

"I-I-I can't.." I said, biting my lip to hod back my tears.

"Carlitos, please. I can't help you if you don't help me.." His eyes were full of concern. He always worried about me. They all did, except for Kendall. I tured to face him and I sighed.

"Logan you can't tell ANYONE. Not even James. Promise?"

"Why not Kendall?"

"Just promise."

"Promise."

I looked at the bed, twiddling with my thumbs. "About 2 months ago Kendall and I decided that we would be... fuck buddys.. I didn't want to do it because I knew I would end up being hurt because I love him, I love him so much and he doesn't love me he loves Jo and I can see why. Why would anyone want to love me? Stupid, immature, emotional Carlos?" I start to cry again. I feel the hot tears strolling down my soft reddened cheeks.

"First of all, you're NOT stupid, immature, or emotional. I never want you to say that again. Second of all, how do you know he doesn't love you? He very well could, you're perfect. Do you see how protective he is over you? He would give anything for you Carlos."

"Today, we were, you know, and he said, 'I love you, Carlos.' When I asked i=if he meant it he said no, it was the heat of the moment."

"Okay Carlos, just calm down okay.. We'll figure it out. Right now, lets go eat dinner and don't have sex with him until you tell him how you really feel. Please? It hurts me to see you hurt, hell, it hurts us all. Please just smile and forget about Kendall for a while."

I nod, I know it hurts everyone but not everyone can be happy all the time. They can't expect me to always be happy. I try my best to hide my hurt but sometimes it's just too much..


End file.
